Emily McElarney

Taking up running was powerful therapy for a woman “annoyed” with her body after suffering the loss of a pregnancy.

Emily McElarney (40) speaks candidly on how the heartache of miscarriage was a driving force to get running.

The mum-of-three, based in Rush, Co Dublin, now runs at least three times a week and completed the Dublin Marathon just months before turning 40.

“I had a miscarriage in between the birth of my second and third children. I had had two completely non-eventful pregnancies and wonderful births. I had been so lucky. I never thought in a million years this would happen to me.”

After the miscarriage, Emily said she went through every emotion women experience in this situation. “You blame yourself. You forensically analyse everything you ate and drank in the weeks leading up to it.

“Then I blamed my body. I asked, ‘why did my body do this?’ I was annoyed with my body. I started to comfort eat. I was feeling low and cross. It was in that frame of mind I started to run.”

Emily talks very openly about her experience of a lost pregnancy, believing it to be “still very much a taboo subject". She thinks people are often too scared to talk to a woman about a lost baby, in case it upsets her.

“But everyone needs to get over that fear, because the fact is that it is always on the woman’s mind regardless.”

She is now a qualified bereavement doula (pregnancy and post-pregnancy support companion) supporting families who have been through a pregnancy loss or know that they are going to go through it.

Her path to recovery was eased by discovering a passion for running, and she urged women to consider it as a very accessible exercise during the Covid-19 pandemic.

Busy mum to Seamie (11), Sonny (8), and Elsie-May (6), she knows accessibility is the key criteria for parents seeking an activity.

Formerly a broadcast journalist, it was during her time in radio Emily realised she needed to find a way to unwind, and took up yoga.

She became a qualified yoga instructor and teaches mothers and children. Emily is also a qualified hypno-birthing practitioner.

Two years ago, she made the decision to return to education and study for a degree in Social Care, and now works for homeless services while completing college work.

Running is the small window in her hectic schedule that “opens the door for self-care”.

She adds: “I used always listen to music when running, but stopped when the pandemic began. I wanted to become more mindful and hear and see nature. I get so much out of that.”

Emily knows there are many other women sharing the same experience. “You meet lots of other women who are at my stage of life, in their 40s, discovering running for the first time. “Growing up, I was led to believe sport wasn’t for me. But I clicked with running and it works because it is accessible.

“Sometimes, I have to really drag myself out, but I never regret going.”

She prefers the peacefulness of running alone, but did join a local running group for a while to train for organised races.

“We would do speed drills, and I would come consistently last in all of them. I spent a lot of time laughing at myself. Everyone was getting longer breaks between drills because they had to wait for me to finish". 

“I think some people would find that really hard and demotivating, but my parameters for running success are not what they are for others.”

She jokes that when she did the Dublin Marathon her time was so slow because so many friends and family turned up to support her. Emily kept stopping to hug them.

“My children and cousin’s children made supportive signs for me, which was so lovely. It felt amazing being out there and doing it, achieving it. Even afterwards, I had the runners back on within a couple of days.”